Thursday, November 3, 2011

4 - Mystery Ranch

More like Depressing Ranch. Oh, and look, it stars Jessie and Violet. The boring ones. This is no comment on the characters themselves, really. We all know that every children's book series has to, over the 50-3,000 books, ALWAYS spend a chapter detailing the personalities of the main characters, so the readers would get indelible impressions of them. So every Animorphs book will spend the first or second chapter getting the following information across:

Jake = Leader, sports, whiny

Rachel = Pretty, gymnastics, punching

Marco = Wiseacre, asshole, horny

Tobias = Moody, asshole, is a bird

Cassie = Animals, preachy, animals

Ax = Spock

Or the Babysitters Club:

Kristy = Leader, sports, whiny

Claudia = Flake, artistic, dumb

Mary-Anne = Nerd, father issues, boyfriend with dreeeeeeamy southern accent

Dawn = California, hippie, spinoff

Mallory = Glasses, one thousand siblings

Jessi = Black, sign language, ballet


But the Boxcar Children never really had that, so what little personality they have tends to be vague in the memory. Henry was the smart one and the take-charge guy, but that's mainly because he's the oldest, and Benny was the youngest, so he gets to be curious and inquisitive. As I recall, Jessie and Violet were "sensitive" and "artistic", the two vaguest and most stereotypically feminine traits possible. I even tend to forget which is which.

Anyway. Mystery Ranch. Looks pretty boring.

No comments:

Post a Comment